


Goodnight, Nightvale, Goodnight

by KQQM



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, i am an awful person, literally just copy pasted some of it, spoilers for ep 65, then built from there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3921883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KQQM/pseuds/KQQM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All that is in italics is from ep.65: Voicemail. Afterwards is my work. Grab tissues, you'll be sobbing, I promise.<br/>Transcript credit: http://cecilspeaks.tumblr.com/post/115196244106/episode-65-voicemail<br/>Everything belongs to the Glow Cloud. (also commonplace books0<br/>If you don't want to read over the transcript scroll a long way down to the line break. You'll see it, trust me.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Goodnight, Nightvale, Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> All that is in italics is from ep.65: Voicemail. Afterwards is my work. Grab tissues, you'll be sobbing, I promise.  
> Transcript credit: http://cecilspeaks.tumblr.com/post/115196244106/episode-65-voicemail  
> Everything belongs to the Glow Cloud. (also commonplace books0  
> If you don't want to read over the transcript scroll a long way down to the line break. You'll see it, trust me.

_You have reached the voicemail of Cecil Gershwin Palmer. That might seem like an easy thing to do, but think about how long you had to stay alive just to learn how a phone works and who I am. Congratulate yourself on that. Give yourself a vigorous pat on the back, and…don’t forget to leave a message after the heavily distorted sample of a man saying “I just couldn’t eat another bite.”_

 

_I̱̺̭͕̜ ̥̐͂͆̋j̰̥͔̔̒ͬ̐͆͊ͮǘ͓̺̳̰̑ͅs͕̝͎̼̞̏t͚̋ ̟̥͂ͧ̑c̓ͬ́͐̌̀o͇͖ͩ̋̄̊̽ͬu͈̲͉͍̩ͦ̎l̩̜͊̽̉͛̅ͥd̙̝͌͑̐͗͆n̬'̟̹̦͖̒͗͐͛t̰̠̙͖̱̹̰͌ͨ͆ͬ ̤̭̲̭̪͇ͪ̄ͯ́ͯ͊̍ͅê͕͈̣ͩ͆̂ͩa̯̠͍̮̾t͉͈̊ ̟̯͂͐͊̌̌̍ͅa̺̮̻̮̱͚̩͛n̟̝͇͎̥̂ͫ̏̈́o̺̰͇͔̹͓̩͊̍ṫ͇̠̭̻ͦh͉̹̼͙̯̊͒̂͛e͖̗͉̦͗̄ͩr̖̺͍̩͆̈́̓̈́ ̫͈̟̗̞ͤͣͧͅb̰ͮͤ͗͊ͬͧi̠̺̙̍t͚͙̆ẽ̜͈̞͐̌.̮ͧ̍̏ͯ̋͒_

 

_Hey, sweetie, it’s Carlos. I know you’re probably busy talking, or not talking. It seems like you’re always talking, or not talking, you know?_

_So, I’ll try again in a bit, but I just wanted to let you know what’s up here. What’s up? The sky!_

_OK, OK, that is a funny joke, but it is also a scientifically accurate one. I only tell scientifically accurate jokes. I don’t get how people can find inaccurate jokes funny._

_Like, OK, so a horse walks into a bar, and says “I feel used. As a species, even, I feel used.” And so then the bartender, who is also a horse, ‘cause, you know, this is the Horse District where the horses live when they’re not being used by the humans, and the horse bartender says, “Don’t I know it, buddy!” and the first horse says “I’m not your buddy!” And then he says, “Man, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was awful of me. It’s the anger.”_

_So, that’s another example of a scientifically accurate joke._

_Things are going really well here. With the help of Doug and Alicia and the other members of the masked army who live in this strange desert other world, we’ve been starting to build out an infrastructure. Of course, I had already set up a temporary lab, but now we’ve dug up the stones that were used in the old settlements up on the mountain and have been building important basics of life, like shelter and roads and blood stone circles. It’s starting to look downright homey around here…if you ignore the disquieting wasteland beyond. So it’s just like the rest of the world, really._

_There’s lots of material to work with, because – get this – we’ve been just finding stuff lately. Microwaves, toolboxes, old tennis balls. They look like they’ve been here a while. I’m not sure how this stuff ended up here, but I’m going to find out._

_Ooh! That reminds me. I’m thinking of getting a tattoo with the definition of science straight out of Webster’s Dictionary. So it’ll say, quote, “I don’t know, but I’m trying to find out, OK?” end quote, and then it’ll have a skull and some roses. Ooh, maybe an anchor, to make it look old-timey._

_Hmm._

_I’m still working on how to get you here, but I will. How? I don’t know, but I’m trying to find out, OK?_

_OK?_

_OK._

_I love you. Talk again soon._

**_[BEEP]_ **

_Hey, sorry to call again so soon…I know we talked about space and boundaries and all of that, especially with this whole Lot 37 thing you’re going through…gotta have time to think. And Cec, I understand a time to think, but I have made an important scientific discovery, and you know the rules are different when an important scientific discovery is made. An important scientific discovery is grounds to interrupt anything!_

_I found people! Here, in this desert other world! We – me, and the members of the masked army – saw human shapes coming towards us. The masked army opted, as is their way, for something of a warlike response, but I convinced them that it was important to discover the facts before formulating a response – an idea to which Doug roared in a fearsome voice, “THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE! LET’S GO CHAT WITH THEM AND SEE WHAT’S UP!”_

_And here is, my sweet Cecil, what was up. These people were citizens of Night Vale. They had been lost from their home, as of today, for exactly two years, and they have apparently been wandering the desert since!_

_They are a tad traumatized by their years in a featureless wasteland accompanied only by a distant rumble and a bright light that they felt primarily in the roots of their teeth, and so they haven’t told me yet how they got here, but I have them resting in the hot yoga studio we recently built, so I hope to hear their story soon. And when I hear the story, you will too. And then, you know, I’m sure everyone who listens to your show will, you old blabbermouth!_

_You know, it would upset me if it weren’t just who you are. So much of each other would be annoying if it weren’t also the essence of us. Hmm._

_OK, more soon._

**_[BEEP]_ **

_Hey, OK, quick update, and then *poof* I’m gone again from your voicemail._

_I’ve put some of the junk we found and some of the people we found in my lab, and I’m studying them using microscopes and vials of bubbling liquid and me making thoughtful expressions and saying things like “Hmm.” So I’m really using all of the available scientific tools right now._

_Ooh, I feel like I’m on the verge of something big here, something new!_

_I’ll call you soon. [Gasp] This is so exciting!_

**[BEEP]**

_Cecil! Cecil, I did it! I understand! I hooked everything up to computers, and I said “hmm” a lot, and then I asked the people to talk about how they ended up in the desert and it turned out that they were all lured into the Dog Park during Poetry Week. And then the gates closed on them, and they’ve been in this desert ever since._

_And I thought about this. I thought about how Dana came in here with them on that same day, and about all of the stuff I found, which I think is junk that people got rid of by throwing them over the walls of the forbidden Dog Park._

_And I realized…this is the Dog Park! This whole desert, the mountain, the light up on the mountain, we’re in a vast, perhaps endless, and definitely endlessly forbidden Dog Park!_

_Which means you can visit now! You just have to walk through that Dog Park gate, and then…you know, walk a few more hundred miles after that to wherever we’re at in this huge desert, and then you’ll be able to take that vacation here!_

_Uh, call me as soon as you get this. Cecil! Oh, honey-voiced honey! You’ll be able to visit!_

_Talk soon. I love you._

**[BEEP]**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**[BEEP]**

Cecil, darling? I tried calling again, it's been almost a whole day since I've heard from you. Honestly I'm a little worried but you're a busy man and I understand. I've got things all figured out so just call me as soon as possible, I'm so excited to see you again! Love you!

 

**[BEEP]**

 

Alright, sweetie, honey, darling, please answer the phone. It's been roughly forty eight hours since I last heard from you. I figured you'd get my voicemails within the day and call me back. You'd be so excited with ideas of how to get into the forbidden dog park. You'd be rambling about all the things you'd want to do this weekend in the vast otherworld. We'd be able to  _actually_  celebrate our one year anniversary. Oh Cecil my heart aches in worry so uh, call me back.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

So, three days now. I don't want to clog up your voicemail because you're probably doing something really busy. So just, a joke for you, so you'll smile when you listen to all my voicemails. So there's that.

[clears throat]

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? 

...

CORNY!

[nervous laughing]

Get it cause cobalt is Co, radon it Rn and yttrium is Y.

[long silence]

Please call me Cecil, I'm really worried.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

Uh, Cee it's been almost a week since I last heard from you. I don't even know what to say. I can't sleep much, I have tuned into the radio to find that your show isn't on air. Please tell me you're okay Cee, I need you my honey-voiced honey. Love of my life. Darling. I love you so much. Please tell me everything's okay. Please. 

 

**[BEEP]**

 

[sniffling in background]

Please call me Cecil I don't want to believe it. I can't. We are so close.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

I figured out how to get back to Night Vale. If this is a joke you are going to get an asswhopping by a scientist half your size. God, please. I don't believe in a God but please God tell me this is a joke. I love you with all of my heart Cecil, which isn't even scientifically possible but you're so scientifically impossible so I guess it makes sense for you to take up the entirety of an organ made for the purpose of pumping blood through my body.

[choked sobbing]

[sniffle]

Cecil

 

 

 **[BEEP]**  

 

[talking with a cracked voice]

I went to your funeral today Cecil. I keep calling your voicemail so I can hear your voice. I listened to the backlogs of your last few shows. God Cecil I wish I could've done something. It broke my heart to see you lying there. You're so full of life that it was devastating to finally come to terms with this. I love-

[sobbing]

God, Cecil come back please. Please God Cecil I need you. I'll do anything. Please just, you're home. You're my home. Please come back. 

 

**[BEEP]**

 

Depression is the worst thing ever. Especially since it's backed by science.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

I have no interest in science. There's been so much stuff I should've been excited for that's been happening in our little town. But I'm so empty. Oh Cee, my honey-voiced honey.

 

****[BEEP]** **

 

[singing with a voice that sounds like Carlos is about to cry any moment]

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are grey_  
_You never know, dear, how much I love you_  
_Please don't take my sunshine away_  
  
_The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping_  
_I dreamt I held you in my arms_  
_When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_  
_So I hung my head, and I cried_  
  
_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are grey_  
_You never know, dear, how much I love you_  
_Please don't take my sunshine away_  
  
_Please don't take my sunshine away_

 

**[BEEP]**

 

I still call you every night expecting you to answer. I've sent you so many snaps. Oh Cecil it's so empty here without you.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

 

I hope you don't mind but I've moved into your place. City Council didn't have any next of kin that wanted the place so I'm here. Your clothes still smell like you Cecil and your bed. I don't think this is good for me.

 

**[BEEP]**

 

I can't fucking do this anymore Cecil. Please come home. Stop this stupid prank. I need to hold your hand. Please Ceil. Please!

 

**[BEEP]**

 

[very softly]

I'm wearing your favorite lab coat. I'm curled up in your bed and I'm going to see you tonight. Cecil you are my home. The love of my life. I'm almost forty and there is no world outside of Night Vale for me anymore. And you were the one thing that made Night Vale home for me. I'm coming to you Cecil, wherever that  **somewhere** might be. We can do tests on everything and you'll give me that smile that melts my heart and there was just a warning that your voicemail is almost full. I love you Cecil, goodni--

 


End file.
